This is about when I met up with someone where the night went somewhere I was not prepared for.
(This story may be a bit too graphic or sexual. I’m giving a fair warning)
It was around 8pm on a Saturday night and I just got home from the mall with my family. I was receiving texts from this guy who I have been talking to for about 3 weeks. He was finally available to hang out and watch a movie. He had canceled on me for about 4 times before to the point where I questioned if he was avoiding me, he replied that he wasn’t but his schedule was just crazy busy. He wasn’t busy and I wasn’t busy so it felt as if the stars aligned. He offered to pick me up and drop me off so I gladly accepted to seeing him tonight. Now the tough part was coming, the heads up to my parents. The fact that they let me out passed 9pm was crazy.
I redid my makeup and got ready. I was actually shaking from how excited I was. He texted me 10 mins later and he was outside. I ran out the door and I saw his car. He smiled and we both said “Finally!”
At the first red light we came across, he leaned in and kissed me. I did promise that if he picked me up, he got a kiss in the car. And dear god was it amazing. Maybe it was the fact that someone hasn’t kissed me like that in about 8 months.
We were talking as some music played and whenever there was silence, I would hum the songs on the radio like Hotel California. He asked me about everything, my family, my past relationships, I dropped the bomb about how an ex of mine dumped me because he came out of the closet. He was stunned and his mind was blown.
We finally parked and got out of the car. He was pleased with my height and I was the same with him. He was so tall, and he pulled me close to where I was around shoulder height to him. We arrive at his place and the place looked like a hotel, with a front desk, couches and even some movies displayed on a glass table. I gasp and tell him that the place looked like a hotel. His place was the first door. I get in and he offers to get me water. I look around his room and he has a guitar, a picture of his friends and him, and some posters. I sat on his bed and it was the softest thing in the world. He came back with a glass of water and he turns on the TV and asks what to watch. I told him anything but horror and he agrees, so we look for something funny to watch. I ask if he has seen the show FRIENDS. He says no and I demand that he puts it and we put season 3 episode 1. we cuddle and we start watching. I laugh a little and I look at him to see if he is watching. He starts dancing a little as the theme song plays and I smile and laugh. Then he turns to me and kisses me. We were making out before the theme song even ended. He caresses my face and pulls me in closer to him. He begins to massage my back. As we are doing this, I hear Janice talking and I couldn’t get myself to not focus on that or when Ross was humming the Star Wars theme song. But I did not stop. Things got so heated that the screen was stuck on the “Are you still watching?” page until it disappeared. He was so sweet and funny. When he was trying to do something sly, I would call him out for it. He would make me laugh and he even said that I had the cutest laugh. He would kiss me repeatedly on my cheek and then we would kiss and he would end up biting my lip in a playful manner. It got to the point where I was telling him my dreams and he would say that I could achieve them and he would say how undeserving he is of me and how I’m really great while kissing my repeatedly. He made me feel like no other guy had ever made me feel.
It got to the point where we were both naked and in bed. Things got heated and it got to the point where IT was about to happen. And as we started, I clenched my teeth, I squeezed his arms and started saying ow. He looked at me a bit confused. “Wait is this your first time,” he asked. And I replied with no, in fact that was my second time. And he got off me and lay down next to me, in disbelief. He said that he just assumed I have done it with other guys. And I told him how I was picky when it came to sleeping with guys. He looked at me and agreed. He said I should be picky and how he doesn’t deserve a girl like me. Then he became a bit serious. He said he felt weird. In a way to allude that I was forced to do it. I took his hand and said how I agreeed to everything since he would check with me at every step. I assured him he had nothing to worry about even though I was crying at his point but it’s because I am an emotional person. He went back to his sweet self after I confirmed how I felt. We cuddled and kissed some more. And I asked if I could tell him something. He said to just say it and so, I did. I told him that I liked him a lot to which he responded that he liked me too and kissed my cheek. We checked the time and he said if it was time to leave yet. I brought him close and said I didn’t want to leave. He said that we had to so we got dressed and out we went. I held his hand and arm since it was a bit chilly on our walk to the car. He brought me close and kissed me.
We got in the car and we went on our way. We talked about family and he sang along to the songs on the radio and I called him cute as he was driving. He would make me laugh and he even called me funny, which coming from a comedian like him, was an honor. I asked him how it was possible to be pretty, cute and sexy at the same time and he said that I was doing that perfectly.
I asked him to text me when he got home because I was worried about him driving so late. He kissed me goodbye as he pulled up to my place. He texted me when he got home and I went to sleep so happy that I enjoyed every moment of it.
I didnt hear from him the next day because he was visiting a friend out of town so I didnt bother texting him. I texted him on Monday since he posted that he got employee of the month at his workplace. He replayed with a simple thanks. Then I didnt hear from him till Wednesday morning when I texted him and then called him because my panic was getting worse. He didnt pick up and I realized that this was it. He texted me a couple minutes later explaining how he was so busy and it wasn’t going to work out. He said what he said when he had me in bed, “you deserve better.” I didnt know whether to believe him or not. He also said “its not you, its me.” That was the first time that line was used on me and I called bullshit. I felt like he was beating himself up a lot about this. I told him to give himself a chance but he didnt. So we stopped talking and I broke. After everything, I was dropped again so easily without even hesitation or a fight. And the fact that this guy knew where I was, had no effect on his desicion. I waited the whole day for an apology. Then a week and I heard nothing. He still follows me on Instagram and I follow him but my heart sinks when he posts something.
I feel like when he said I deserved better, it was him saying that he deserved better. I wish things worked out. So now I’m on square one again and I hate it.