So recently, I have sat down with myself and asked myself “Why am I single?” Yes, I decided to go down that rabbit hole. With all the online dating that I have done, it has made me realize how I am. I have even asked myself, if there is anything I could change about myself because maybe I am doing something wrong. One thing that stood out was how I have been called crazy, a prude and I was even told “Fuck that,” when I told someone why I got dumped last year. Because I was dumped for not letting my boyfriend, at the time, not fuck me. It has scared some guys away. I am not an “easy” girl. I need to be comfortable and feel safe with someone before I even think about sleeping with someone. Yes, it is a whole process and yes, it does test someone’s patience, but it is worth it. It’s like some guys look for a “girlfriend” as a way to secure sex with someone instead of constantly looking for someone. And I have even debated on having just sex with someone to perhaps get over this borderline fear. But I can’t. I’m not a girl who can do one night stands or anything along those lines. I guess I am old fashioned because of how I like to create a bond with someone before I want to get serious. It kinda sucks that sex is such an important thing of a relationship. It stresses me the hell out. I understand how it is an aspect of it but it shouldn’t make or break a relationship. So because of all that, I have realized what I want from a guy. I want respect. I want a guy to respect me and understand why I love so slow in a relationship. I don’t want to feel pressure from my partner. I just want to find someone who is nice, respectful, smart and funny. Who knew that would be so hard for me to find. But, yeah. That’s why I am single. It sucks but hey, I just keep going and hoping maybe one day, I’ll find him.